10 Great TV Themes

for FACT magazine - 2007

Grange Hill

Written in an hour by renowned TV composer Alan Hawkshaw (the only man who could not only write the themes to Countdown and Channel 4 News but also the legendary b-boy breaks tune 'The Champ') Grange Hill originally started life as a piece of library music called 'Chicken Man' that was chucked into a recording session at the last minute. It has since become an icon of British childhood, it's bizarre funkiness instantly transporting you back to a time of Mr Bronson telling someone off and a sausage on a big fork. Wow. They foolishly changed it into 90's to some synth tosh that no one liked. Idiots.

Knight Rider

Knight Rider. What a fucking amazing ahead of it's time tune. Obviously everyone else now also realises this which is why it has been sampled to death by everyone from Timbaland and Busta Rhymes to So Solid Crew and their contemporary Crazy Frog. The tune was written by Stu Phillips and the show's creator Glen A. Larson. I've always wondered whether Glen A. Larson actually did anything at all on it or whether he just wanted a slice of the action because it was his show (much like Simon Cowell and his 'songwriting' credit on the X Factor theme) and thus he could do what he wanted. If anyone knows Glen A. Larson please could they find out as this one has puzzled me for years.

South Bank Show

OK this is probably the only time you are ever going to read someone giving Andrew Lloyd Webber props on this website. But his theme tune to The South Bank Show is awesome. Taken from his crazy classical rock mash up album Variations the theme is based on a piece by Paganini and it still sounds good today. I know it's really uncool but I do wish more people would make records like that today. I secretly love them.

Krypton Factor

This was one of the few TV themes written by The Art Of Noise. Like much of their commissioned work (also listen to the rather patchy soundtrack of the Dan Akroyd Dragnet film) it seemed to use exactly the same noises as their records of the time. Namely lots of sampled horn blasts and that 'dum dum dum' noise that was all over Close To The Edit and the drums from Beatbox. Maybe Trevor Horn had just bought some expensive new glasses and didn't want to spend any more money on memory for his Fairlight sampler. We will never know. Anyway it's one of those made in the 80's tunes that has aged remarkably well. But whatever happened to the show's spooky host Gordon Burns?

Inspector Gadget

Do-do-do-do-do Inspector Gadget. Another fantastically groovy TV tune that you are probably humming to yourself right now. I used to love watching the show not just for it's theme but also for it's super funky moog synthesizer underscore. I even once tried to DJ it at a night at 333 many many years ago. I had previously convinced myself that this was going to be a massive dancefloor filler and send the crowd into a frenzy. It didn't. It cleared the room and the bloke who now 'manages' Peaches Geldolf called me a 'fucking wanker' for playing it. Twat.

Treasure Hunt

Helicopters. In the 1980's helicopters seemed to be on TV all the time. Helicopters and motorcycle display teams. Where are they today? One show that used them heavily was Treasure Hunt. The theme tune was a super pomp synth rock monster that built to an epic crescendo. The music said 'this could be the most exciting thing you will see on TV all year'. The show said: 'Oh look here's Kenneth Kendall and a married couple who look like they last had sex seven years ago, standing about in a room full of fake books'. What a swizz.

The Great Egg Race

I don't know how many of you remember this show but it has got one of the most killer theme tunes of all time. I tried to seek it out again researching this piece and I was shocked at how fresh it still sounded - a tight punky kinda beat with some horribly catchy moog drops on top. It got me wanting to dance round my studio in about two seconds flat. If someone like Simian Mobile Disco sampled it up they'd have a massive hit on their hands. A gem waiting to be rediscovered.

Tour De France

Again this is a bit of a personal choice but the old theme from the Channel 4 version of this was ace. It wasn't - as many believe - Kraftwerk's track of the same name but a rather spacey sounding synth tune by some bloke who used to be in The Buzzcocks that somehow managed to incorporate French kids tune Frère Jacques AND still sound cool.

Doctor Who

Not much more needs to be said about this. Originally written by top TV composer Ron Grainer (who also did classic themes to The Prisoner and Tales Of The Unexpected) it was warped into crazy electro freakout territory by Delia Derbyshire at the BBC Radiophonc Workshop. Grainer, apparently so impressed at what the now legendary soundsmith had done with his track, offered her half the royalties. Ludicrous BBC staff guidelines however meant, sadly, she couldn't accept them. The current arrangement, by the normally superb composer, Muuray Gold, is, in my opinion, no match for the original whatsoever. Boo hoo.

Roobarb And Custard

A viciously funky weird theme tune that sounded like a Fender Rhodes that put through about six different distortion and filter pedals. In my various TV work I have tried to rip the sound off more times than you care to mention. It fitted the jaggedness of Bob Godfrey's visuals perfectly. Best not to think about the rather dodgy rave version knocked up in the 90's by the blokes from Global Communication before they were cool.